When it comes to life and business, it is no coincidence that some people always seem to fail while others always seem to flourish. For sure, chance plays a role in everything. But as individuals, as business-owners, as thinkers, and as parents, we have a significant degree of control over our lives.
Now, we can use the control that we have to influence outcomes in bad ways. Or we can use it to influence outcomes in our favour; and in the favour of those we care about most - that's sometimes called connection.
When we use it poorly or when we don’t use it at all, it should come as no surprise that our outcomes are bad. And when we use it thoughtfully and carefully, it should similarly be less surprising when we succeed.
Let me give you an example. At work, your employer considers you for a promotion; however, at the same time, she also considers several of your co-workers for a promotion, too.
Now, as many do, you might immediately say “there’s nothing I can do to influence my boss in my favour. Instead, this decision will be determined by things that are out of my control.” And, of course, when the day comes, you will not get that promotion.
Instead, someone who pushed hard to demonstrate his worthiness for the position will get the job. And you will be left wondering why that person is always successful; and always gets promotions, raises, and the adoration of management.
You might even feel resentment towards that person, even though you consider him a friend.
When it comes down to it, though, it wasn’t your friend who caused you to miss the promotion (or at least not to give yourself the best shot at getting it). Rather, it was your own behaviour that prevented your boss from seriously considering you as a candidate.
Fortunately for you, this article is about making sure this problem stops. It is about extracting the characteristics of others that make them successful at work, in parenthood, or in the workplace; and then adopting those characteristics for your own use.
