Saving Marriage In A Culture Of Throw Away Relationships

How do you go about saving marriage in a culture which values throw away relationships? 

There was a time, not too long ago, that marriage was considered a lifetime commitment.  While there were some downsides to this such as people having to endure a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse, there were also some benefits.  Marriage was a serious endeavor.  Marriage created stable families.  It was the foundation of society.

Now, every state except New York has some form of no fault divorce.  If one spouse wants out, all he or she has to do is say the word.  In most states, the partners are not even required to get counseling.  How do you go about saving marriage in this kind of environment?

First, you need to realize that a marriage can be saved, even if only one partner wants it.  However, if you are the one who wants to save the marriage, you need to realize that you are going to have to do most of the work.

I liken this to house cleaning.  Single women do more house work than single men.  That’s probably because women, in general, have a higher aversion to messiness.  So, when people get married, the woman is more likely to do the bulk of the house work.  That isn’t because it is her “job.”  It’s because she has the lower tolerance for the mess.

So, if you are the one who wants to save the marriage, you are going to have to do the heavy lifting.  Here’s how to go about saving marriage when yours is on the rocks:

1.) Recognize that your spouse had valid concerns when he or she asked for the divorce.  Work on addressing those concerns.

2.) Know that your spouse has a lot invested in the relationship.  Use that investment to rebuild the marriage.  Your spouse will probably have second thoughts about leaving from time to time.  Give him or her every reason to stay.

3.) Monitor your reaction.  Too many times, the spouse who doesn’t want to leave will badger the divorcing spouse to talk about the issues in the relationship.  But, sometimes your spouse needs emotional space.  If this is the case, respect his or her wishes.

4.) Lower your expectations.  Saving marriage requires that you don’t look for perfection in everything.  If he or she has flaws, now is not the time to point them out.  If they do things that get on your nerves, live with it.

5.) Have fun.  Saving marriage is a serious business.  But, if you make the repair process too intense, you will scare your spouse away.  Instead, suggest that you together do the things you both find fun.  When you can reconnect in the small ways, the big things will take care of themselves.

Finally, recognize that we live in a culture where saving marriage is not considered sophisticated.  But, you know deep down, that your marriage is the most important thing in your life and it is well worth saving.

Online Dating Advice For Men

Online Dating Advice For Men

There is so much online dating advice for men it would take you a long time to get through it all. Although with a little research you should be able to narrow it all down to find the information that you need and want.

For instance, if you are looking for online dating advice for men you could always try a dating site or two. Just make sure they are reputable sites. Maybe try some of the ones that you have heard of already.

If you are truthful when you make up your profile on all the various dating sites they should be able to match you up with someone who has the same interests as you do. In any relationship it is important to start of on the right foot. Finding someone compatible right off the bat is a plus. With things in common you should find plenty of things to talk about when you go out.

When looking for dating advice online, you will find advice about being confident and secure in the man you are before you try to have a relationship. If you enter into a relationship with a lot insecurities your relationship will suffer. Any relationship can be great right at the beginning but all of your insecurities will someday rear their ugly heads and start to sabotage the relationship.

You should try to work on anything you need to to get rid of the insecurities you have. This may mean finding a counselor to help you. If you have certain issues stemming from your childhood do what you can to minimize them so your future relationships do not suffer.

No one ever has perfect role models growing up and truthfully, those role models can put some pretty messed up stuff in our heads. So much so that any relationship we try to have as adults do not, or cannot, work out for the best.

You also should not look to someone else to make you happy. Happiness needs to come from within and if you are not happy with yourself first you could not possibly be happy with someone. Oh sure, there is an initial 'honeymoon period' but when the relationship settles into a routine you will soon revert back to your old ways and, possibly without even being aware of what you are doing, you will start to do things that will sabotage your relationship.

Like I said, you may not even know you are doing it but the evidence that you are, in part, will be like taking little things that should really not ever get in the way in your relationship and making them huge issues that cause arguments and just get on your nerves.

The best thing for you to do is put some energy into figuring out what your insecurities are and dealing with them effectively before you get involved with someone new then, believe it or not, you will find that the self-confidence you have found and project will not only attract more members of the opposite sex, it will attract those who are also confident in themselves.

So, find a good counselor and research some online dating advice for men to become a confident, secure individual who knows where he is headed in this life before trying to have a relationship with someone else. Be careful though, do not let the confidence become arrogance, this can happen very easily and where confidence is attractive, arrogance is not.

Eating apple daily increases sexual arousal in women –Study

It is a common saying that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But beyond the health benefits of apple for both men and women, it seems to have a lot to contribute to the sexual satisfaction of women, as it has been found to improve their sex lives. Thus, there is a link between apple and sexual performance for women.

Previous findings have shown that eating apple has many benefits, including its ability to reduce the risk of diabetes and heart attack, ward off breast cancer, lower blood fat levels in post menopausal women and reduce the risk of stroke.

In fact, eating apple everyday for six months was found to cut cholesterol by almost a quarter, apart from the fact that it prevents dementia (loss of brain functions that occurs with certain diseases) and improves neurological health by reducing cellular death. These were attributed to its high-fibre content and that it produces more saliva to reduce tooth decay and detoxify the liver.

Interestingly, apple is not the only common edible item that can help women to be aroused, some previous studies revealed that red wine and chocolate also help women to become aroused, because of the resveratrol compound found in both and the presence of sexually stimulating polyphenols and antioxidants in them.

However, beyond all these heart-warming benefits, study by researchers at Santa Chiara Regional Hospital in Trento, Italy, showed that daily apple consumption enhances the sex life of women and helps them to be sexually satisfied. They believe that the compound phloridzin present in apples play a large role in sexual arousal and vaginal lubrication in women and ultimately their sexual satisfaction.

The researchers indeed found that women who eat apples regularly are more likely to have better sex because of some nutrients in the fruit, even though many people, especially women, eat apple for fun, without necessarily understanding its impact on their sexual life.

In the study, which lasted for eight months, the researchers, who sought to find a link between daily apple consumption and sexual libido, studied 781 Italian women aged between 18 and 43.

The researchers established that these women had no history or complaint of sexual disorder or depression and they ascertained that none of the women was taking prescription medications for the two ailments.

Thereafter, they were divided into two groups, with one section instructed to eat between one and two apples a day and the other section told not to eat any. Then, the participants were asked to fill a Female Sexual Function Index, a form, which asked 19 questions about their sexual activities including orgasm, lubrication, frequency of sexual intercourse, overall sexual satisfaction and were asked to report on their daily consumption of the apples as instructed.

The researchers found that eating an apple a day was linked with higher FSFI scores by the participants, which suggested that it increased their overall sexual function or pleasure.

They found that the women who consumed apple daily had higher scores on the sexual function index, especially in the lubrication and sexual performance categories, than those who didn’t eat apple, suggesting that those women who ate apples on a regular basis had a greater sexual function, thereby reporting higher levels of arousal and satisfaction.

The extent to which sex would be enjoyed by a woman depends largely on how lubricated the vagina is, because it reduces friction that may arise from the man’s penile penetration. Inadequate lubrication may put the man and the woman in serious pains and either of them could sustain injuries on their genitals.

The researchers established that apples contain phloridzin, a crystalline glucoside that is structurally similar to a female sex hormone, estradiol, which plays a huge role in vaginal lubrication and sexual arousal. Hence, the phloridzin, which is extracted from the bark of fruits like apple, improves female sexuality and lubrication.

According to the study, published in Archives of Gynaecology and Obsterics, the fruit also contains polyphenols and antioxidants that can increase blood flow to the genitals, hence, boosting arousal and sexual performance.

“We found that women who regularly ate apples, at least one a day, had better quality sex life,” Tommaso Cai, one of the lead researchers, told The Local.

Cai said that while good physical health and daily intake of vegetables also help boost women’s sexual desire, the most important factor is floridazina, a compound found beneath the skin of the apple that is similar to the hormone estradiol, which plays an important role in female sexual arousal.

He said, “All the women who included an apple or more a day in their diet ate them unpeeled and they scored higher on the sex-related questions.

“But fear not ladies, you don’t have to restrict yourselves to fruit and vegetables to feel aroused, wine and chocolate are also aphrodisiacs. A research few years ago found that the antioxidants in wine and chocolate also help improve sex.

“Apples contain polyphenols and antioxidants, which can increase blood flow to the genitalia (the genitals), as well as phloridzin, a type of estrogen similar to the female sex hormone estradiol that improves vaginal lubrication. Consequently, the more apples women consume, the higher the level of lubrication and sexual function.

“It’s also possible that the sexual health benefits come more from apple peels, which have high concentrations of helpful phenolic compound, than from the apples themselves.

Reacting to the study, a consultant endocrinologist, Dr. Michael Olamoyegun, said estradiol, which is the main hormone in females, enhances vaginal lubrication and sexual performance, adding that anything that contains it or the ingredients needed for its production would give the same benefits.

“If apple contains a compound that has similar structure with estradiol, it may probably have the same sexual benefits for women; lubricating the vagina and increasing libido because those are the functions of estradiol or oestrogen.

“Also, anything that will enhance further synthesis of estradiol will still serve the same function because even if apple does not contain estradiol but contains the ingredient from which it would be produced, then, apple would increase the concentration of the compound in the body and enhance those functions.”

He explained that if there is lubrication, there would be enhanced sexual performance, noting that the absence of the lubrication is what makes sex painful for women who have reached menopause because of the dryness in their vagina.

“In menopausal women, the oestrogen or estradiol is low and that is why they have tightness and dry vagina. This explains why they have pain while having sex and that is why we tell them to use cream that contains estradiol for lubrication,” he added.

Olamoyegun explained that almost all fruits contain polyphenols and antioxidants and eating food items or fruits that contain these compounds would increase blood flow.

“If apple contains high concentration of polyphenols and antioxidants, it will increase blood flow, and once you have blood flow to a particular organ, it will enhance its elasticity such that the place tends to expand during sexual performance and there won’t be pain, as it would also increase satisfaction,” he added.

Also commenting on the study, a nutritionist, Dr. Okunola Oladimeji, said even though the study had not been done in Nigeria, the study is true because of the many benefits of eating apple.

“Apple has powerful antioxidants and it contains so many things that are good for health, so I want to agree that it is possible,” he said.

Source:

http://www.punchng.com/entertainment/saturday-breeze/eating-apple-daily-increases-sexual-arousal-in-women-study/